Monday, May 26, 2008
All you have to do to take this test is read the jokes below. If you 'get
the joke' first time, award yourself one point. The higher your score, the
more Scottish you are.
1. A pregnant teenage girl phones her dad at midnight and says:
'Can you come and get me? I think ma water has broken
'Okay,' says her dad. 'Where are you ringing from?'
'From my knickers tae ma feet.. '
2. A Glasgow woman goes to the dentist and settles down in the chair.
'Comfy?'asks the dentist.
'Govan,' she replies.
3. What did the Siamese twins from Glasgow call their
4. A guy walks into an antiques shop and says: 'How much for
the set of antlers?'
'Two hundred quid,' says the bloke behind the counter.
'That's affa dear,' says the guy.
5. Did you hear about the fella who liked eating bricks and
He's awa' noo.
6. After announcing he's getting married, a boy tells his pal
he'll be wearing the kilt.
'And what's the tartan?' asks his mate.
'Oh, she'll be wearing a white dress,'
7. Ten cows in a field. Which one is closest to Iraq ?
8. Three wee jobbies sitting on the pavement.
Which one's a Musketeer?
The dark tan yin.
9. Scotsman in London is having trouble phoning his sister
from a telephone box, so he calls the operator who asks in a plummy voice:
'Is there money in the box?'
'Naw, it's just me,' he replies.
10. While getting ready to go out, a wee wifie says to her
husband: 'Do you think I'm getting a wee bit pigeon chested?'
And he says: 'Aye, but that's why I love you like a doo.'
11.What was the name of the first Scottish cowboy?
Hawkeye The Noo.
12. What do you call a pigeon that goes to Aviemore for its
A skean dhu.
13. How many Spanish guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
14. A man takes a pair of shoes back to the shop and complains
there is a lace missing.
'No,' argues the assistant,
'look at the label – it says Taiwan .'
15.What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and an
Aberdeen sheep farmer? The Rolling Stones say: 'Hey you, get offa my cloud.'
And an Aberdeen sheep farmer says: 'Hey McLeod, get offa ma ewe.'
16. What do you call an illegitimate Scottish insect?
A wee fly b*****d.
17. Did you hear about the BBC Scotland series that features the queue for
the toilets at Waverley Station? It's called The Aw'Needin' Line.
18.A Glasgow man - steaming and skint - is walking down Argyle Street .
When he spots a guy tinkering with the engine of his car!
'What's up Jimmy?' he asks.
'Piston broke,' he replies.
'Aye, same as masel...
19. Why was the Chinese restaurant so bad?
Because the chef was Low Ping.
20. While being interviewed for a job as a bus driver, a guy is asked:
'What would you do if you had a rowdy passenger?'
'I'd put him off at the next stop,' he says.
'Good. And what would you do if you couldn't get the fare?'
'I'd take the first two weeks in August,' he replies.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
hope your all well and happy too. Busy busy busy I have been so so busy lol. A lot of stuff to do with the houses and tenants in and out and shake it all about lol. Finally I have five minutes to myself, well nearly. Jonah watching the wiggles safari, Noah fast asleep. So the house is quiet, very very very quiet. It is the school hols here just now, so the house is usually noisy but not tonight. So I will be off to bed after this for a go at my Sudoku puzzle book. I thought I was good at these till I bought this book lol. I will scan a page in a minute and blog it. Hmmm maybe I gave birth to my brain instead of the placenta lol. I can't seem to get them finished at the moment. Give it a try and let me know how you go. Time yourself at it.....
Good luck guys, Sis you should be good at this lol. Have to go and try to do it now to save face will be truthfull about time lol, that should give someone a giggle atleast. night night peeps
Friday, September 07, 2007
Hi all, Well what a month this has been, and its only just begun. I turned 33 on the 31st of August. Glad that one is over and then all of these morbit reminders of lives lost. I would honestly think it be better for all the families involved if the media chose to celebrate the lives of these people, Steve and Brocky. Our family are avid fans of Steve and Terri Irwin, they do more than they have to for the wildlife we all say we treasure but do we do what we could. Hmm something to think on. Anyway this is a pic I took at Australia Zoo's Tiger Temple at Bindi's 9th Birthday. And here is a link back to my tribute to them last year. And for all the mums out there Bindi's Fitness dvd is great, it comes with a cd for the car, Jonah loves it and already knows all the words. We will be back up there for Bobs birthday on 1st Dec ( my wee nephew Sorleys birthday) for Jonah's birthday (2nd Dec). We spend the day there for Jonah's birthday. Lots more pics from the Zoo, will post again soon.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Hi guy's, this is just one of my quick posts to let you all know that I am glad your all in my life. It is great to know that we may not have even met and may never but we all know that if in need of words of support we are all there for each other. Love to you all.
I have been so slack in getting caught up with you all lately but things here have been so busy for us, purchase of one house plans to build one being organised by builders, had to evict some tenants and now looking for two families to move into two properties whilst re financing another one. I do all our admin much to my joy....not .But it saves us money so I can save to go back to scotland next year.All that with four kids arghhhh . Hope you all have a wonderful week guys will catch up asap.
oh yeah and I managed to total my blog background hence the new blog layout. What a week. It can only get better... ; )