Happy Easter Guys

Well guys it has been nearly a year since I started this crap you all pop in to read lol ; )Hopefully this year I will have more time for my blog.. Fat chance when baby comes along hey. We have not told the sex yet so keep your ears open. Name suggestions would be greatfully received for both sexes guys no hints yet lol. Well I hope you all have wonderful Easter and enjoy this time with your loved ones and hyper kids from all the chocolate.

Love to you all for now, Your friend

shona

xx

For those of you who find it hard to understand me. Here is a disc to help. Isn't it amazing what you find on the

Typed in Renae and this is what I got, have any secrets you want to tell lol.

Hot with heartburn

This is not my big belly but is close to the size lol. Well as you can guess the computer is back and I finally got five minutes to do a quick post. Hope your all doing really well and staying happy. Life here is still very busy and I have to admit I am running out of energy. Had a lecture from the Gp yesterday to slow down or have an early baby. So am now waddling around with my knees tied together. Ye aunty betty I can hear you saying thats what I should have been doing last september hey lol. Well I now have just over 12 weeks to go and am buggered to put it mildly. Can't believe the kids have easter holidays coming up now arghh where has this year gone. Hey got a funny joke for you all, well it made me laugh ... What do men in Iraq shout in a strip joint.... Show me your fasce show me your face. get it . Not as funny as when someone tells it to you face but you better all be bloody laughing your bums off.. ON a brighter note I have only put on 3.9 kilos LMBO here the phone just rang so ashley jumps up to answer it and hands me the phone through and guess what I just won..... A three month GYM PASS.. and you can guess what I told him. " So you think I am fat do ya.... hmmm no just 7 months pregnant. Oh congratulations mam ( that alone make me feel ancient arghhhh) no he was very sweet and hung up eagerly to get ontop his next winner lol. Cold callers , someone needs to love them hey.

Well it is nearly time for bed for Jonah which means bed for me yippee. it's only 6 15 but that'll do me just fine get him to bed and get a shower and a cup of tea and then pee about 23 times then toss and turn till I get comfy so I should be asleep by around midnight.

Also Aunty betty could you please ask the boys ( or young matt to email them all to me ) when they get the chance to email me at the address you use as I don't know in which safe place i put their email addresses. Love to uncle MAtt and all the boys, especially big kisses from the girls for Reese. Will install kodak agin in the computer soon which will lket me post some photos of us all and the last reno.

Links for Matt on australia, Brisbane, hot babes lol will get organised to send him some paperwork if he could email me his home address.

xx

shona

Not for the faint of heart lol

Flat Belly
A Little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. the mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"The mother replies, "Well, you know your dad has a big tummy andsometimes I have to get on top of it and help flatten it." "Your wasting yourtime," said the boy. "Why is that?" the mom asked puzzled. "Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up." If you don't forward this joke in 5 minutes you will have bad sex for fifteen years.

Long lost Shona returns

Hi guys, This is just a quick post to let you all know that I am alive and well lol. Our computer died and we are in the process of getting a new one set up etc so at this present moment we are at the library thankfully Jonah has fallen asleep in the buggy beside us. I am now 6 months pregnant and keeping really well, Jonah getting heaps bigger and smarter too. He coulld talk through wet cement like his mother (Yeah I can hear you saying that aunty betty).

Life here has been super hectic. Ash is enjoying her high school and getting great grades and Natasha is loving having her primary school to herself lol. We finally finished the last house and as soon as we get the new computer I will post the pics the transformation is amazing. And now we have started on the next house lol, this one has a shop and a house on the property so we are nearly done with the house, painting it on sunday was not fun as we had 40 + degrees at Ipswich where the home is arghhhh it was hot hot hot and the paint was literaly drying before we had taken the roller off the wall lol. Any hoo I would post a pic or two from the net but it won't let me open more than one page at a time. I will try to get into all your blogs and say a quick hi but will get into it again when we get the new pc. Till then take care guys and keep posting lol.
love from your friend Shona
xx

Boob implants and viagra...

Choosing A Wife
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

]The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more a attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that, you know.

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

How's your handicap ?

Always think positive.
An American golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he discovered a little Leprechaun flat on his back, with a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him. "Arrgh! What happened?" the Leprechaun asked. "I'm afraid I hit you with my golf ball," the golfer says."Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?" "Thank God, you're all right!" the golfer answers in relief. "I don't want anything, I'm just glad you're OK, and I apologize." And the golfer walked away."What a nice guy," the Leprechaun said to himself. "I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things I would want... a great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life."
A year went by quickly (as it does in stories like this), and the American golfer came back. On the same hole, he again hit a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun was there waiting for him. "T'was me that made ye hit the ball here," the little guy said. "I just want to ask ye, how's yer golf game?" "My game is fantastic!" the golfer replied . "I'm an internationally famous golfer now." He then added, "By the way, it's good to see you're all right." "Oh, I'm fine now, thankye. I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell me, how's yer money situation?""Why, it's just wonderful!" the golfer answered. "When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out $100.00 bills I didn't even know were there!" "I did that fer ye also." And tell me, how's your sex life?" The golfer blushed, and turned his head away in embarrassment, and said shyly, "It's OK." "C'mon, c'mon now," urged the Leprechaun, "I'm wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?" Blushing even more, the golfer looked around then whispered, "Once, sometimes twice a week." "What??" responded the Leprechaun in shock. "That's all? Only once or twice a week?" "Well," said the golfer, "I figure that's not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish."

Happy New Year !

Hi guys,
Just taking the opportunity to wish you all the very very best for this year ahead. We had a very hectic New year, we stayed down the coast at Conrad Jupiters Casino Hotel and lay by the pool all day lol, ate heaps and shopped yes my favourite part ... we shopped lol. Funnily enough when we got back I took the kids down to Blockbusters to get a movie out ( kids rent free during school breaks) and we got George of the Jungle 2 which we realised was taped at the hotel we had just returned from lol cool huh, the funny thing was it was Jonah that spotted that. For when we were in the pool there was a blue tongue lizard which he kept calling a dragon and when the scene came up at the pool he started shouting dragon hiding in the flowers mumma. The weird part is where they are lounging in the chairs by the pool is at the shallow end where I had Jonah, too weird huh. Anyway when we returned our day turned to poop again. And the long and short of it is, I am having to go back to court against the kids biological father to reduce access. To many weird things going on and well it is time for the girls to have a more normal life now. Esp with Ashley starting high school and girls hitting puberty etc, a time where they need to feel comfortable and safe at home. So please pray that all goes wel for us in this. Esp on the 11 th of Jan. Well I hope you all had an awesome Christmas and enjoyed the time with your loved ones. Take care for now and keep smiling it makes people wonder what the heck your up to. xx
shona
Click on the pic of "Luke Skywalker" to take the test, see who you come up as lol.
xx
Boldly striving to overcome the darkness both in this world and within yourself, you are righteously devoted to forging your own destiny.
It's your choice, but I warn you not to underestimate my powers.

Meet baby 2007

Hi guys, after ages and ages of messing around trying to scan this pic off of an X-ray type of sheet. Ta Da..... this is the wee one Joe and I are expecting. And yes it is another womb thumb sucker. Ashley didn't, Natasha did and Jonah did all just to show off for the scan I am sure as they never did it after birth. Go figure huh. But all is well which is good as I have been getting a lot of abdominal pain, which has been scaring me a little. The result is because my womb is having a lie BACKWARDS it is giving me a spastic colon. Yeah sounds like fun lol. Anyhoo, I am fine now that my womb has risen from behind the pubic bone into the tummy so no longer feeling like I need to go.... bad (all day). Ah the joys, but it will be all the worth while when we set eyes on the little one. By the way have you all had a good look at my new wee gorgeous nephew "Sorley".He is just a wee kissable peach. Check out his pics in the proud mum and dad's blogs. He came on the 1st of Dec, which is cool for when we are celebrating Jonah's birthday here on the 2nd of Dec each year they will be one the day before celebrating Sorley's special day at the same time. Too cool huh. I have not been on the computer much as this time of year is hard for me, the girls have gone off to their biological fathers for Christmas, which always gets me down and worried, but thats a whole other story. Hence my absence. But after much naggin from my mum about " aunty Betty is waiting and waiting for you to post something new. well here you are Aunty Betty. Are ya happy now ?. Don't know if I will get on the pc much over the next few days as I still have to do all of my shopping. argghh and we are finishing off house number 4 at the moment aiming to be done by the 29th of Dec. Wait till I post the pics you'll all love it.
Best of wishes to you all over the festive season.
From all of us
Shona Joe Ashley Natasha Jonah and Tiny ( well he/she is only just over 5.58 cm lol)
xx

Merry Christmas

Busy as a bee

This is just a quick post to let you all know that I have not fallen off of the face of the earth. Things here have been so very very hectic. We have had school musicals, school tallent comps which my Natasha won incidentally lol. Ashley getting ready for Trinity College, $362 just for the uniform never mind the fee's but I will be quiet about that. Then we had Jonahs 2nd Birthday which we celebrated at Australia Zoo with baby Bob on his 3rd birthday ( 1 Dec) and Terri and Bindi, not to mention Noddy and Big ears being there too. We all had an awesome day there and I have pick of Bob too and video to show also. Then we had Ashley's graduation party at school with a special mass for them all. Hormones were flying people and they were not mine lol even the boys were crying. Hard for them all to leave as it has been a small school approx 200 students in total and all very close knit to each other. And in between that we have been renovating house number 4 which we restumped and added decks and one more bedroom. Joe has done the Lions share of all the work I can't do much at the moment ( now 11 weeks preg) but have been organising the tradies etc which helps a bit I guess. Feel bad that I have not gotten into all your blogs for a while but have just been so tired come night time and have opted to go to bed with Jonah lol. Poor Joe doesn't get a look in at the moment. Hope I get some energy soon. Will get round you all in the next few days guys but have been thinking of you all daily.
xx
shona

Congratulations

This is just a wee post to say congrats to my friend Linda (and her hubby) . Just got this in an email. Isn't it nice what can be done these days to introduce you to your little miracle. He looks like he is going to be another gorgeous little stud like Lozzy (their first wee boy). Who just happens to know more about cars and their engines than all of us put together lol. He is a very intelligent little boy with great manners, and a wicked sense of humour. I have not had much time to catch up with then since my return from the UK . But I just wanted to let linda know that I love her and wish we lived a bit closer. And most of all am glad she is my friend.

xx

shona

Happy Friday Guys ; )

Thought this one might give you all a giggle, esp Puss in Boots. How many patients have we had that we have wanted to do this to. LOL. Have had a hectic week and am slowly getting back into gear and catching up with all your posts. Hope your all well and happy. After all it is Friday.

Have a great one guys

xx

shona

Brain Farts

I love this pic, makes me laugh. For my brain has started to spasm whenever I try to use it now.lol Ah the joys of being pregnant. Am doing a bit of a clear out of the pc, too many pics on it now. And am going to post the funny ones as I go, so I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

xx

shona

Green around the gills

Hey guys, just a quickie today as I am not feeling the best, just wanted to give a wee update on Jonah. After seeing the Dr fiddling with his bits he was non too pleased and screamed at the Dr... NO Jonah's diddle.. then went to mama nappee on peeze. Home home see dadee. It was sad. Poor wee bugger did not want touched there at all but the good part was the surgical dr prescribed some cream to help dialate his skin all on it's own. Going back in 3 months for a check up if no problems before then like UTI's. So please pray the cream works. Hope you all have a great week remember your never more than 6 days from Friday. ; )

xx
shona

Psyched out..

Am totally psyched, just managed to get a hold of John Edward tickets, I have read all his books and just love him to bits. I tried to get through forever to get tickets and this time I got through before they were sold out. Check out his site, I just tried to poach a pic for the blog but a pop up message comes saying "image protected from the other side" lol. I am also a massive fan of Allison Du Bois, yes yet another medium. Well now my brain is awash with what should I wear. Will he notice me in the crowd and will anyone of my deceased relatives want to contact me or have they had enough of me lol. So this Friday evening the 10th of November, my sis in law and I are off. Quite excited about it also because it is my first night out since Jonah was born. Will let you all know how it goes.

My wee mans ..wee ..man

Hi guys, what a busy week I have had. Firstly Jonah has been having troubles with his wee man. Not big open enough at the end to let out his wee wee. His prepuce (thats foreskin is way too tight) so on Wednesday we have to go to Mater Children's Hospital for a wee op. He is getting the prepuce stretched. Unlike the USA the circumcision rate here in Australia is a lot less common. What can we say we like to be prepared. lol They are now finding uses for the forskin here in Australia like usages as skin grafting for appendix ops etc. Which takes me back to the USA what the hell are ya'll building with that much foreskin lol. Hot air balloon of some giant needs an appendix replacement lol. Any hoo, Jonah has been struggling to get full evacuation for his wee wee which has been causing problems and pain, which no mother likes to see their child in. Also guys a wee surprise approx 3 mm lol Joe and I are Pregnant again. Due next June 29th.
xx
shona
Ps please pray all goes well on Wednesday for the wee guy.
xx

It's a corker...

The Cork Two Arab terrorists are in a locker room taking a shower after their bomb making class, when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his butt.! If you do not mind me saying," said the second, "that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why do you not take it out ?" I regret I cannot", lamented the first Arab. "It is permanently stuck in my butt." "I do not understand," said the other. The first Arab says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in an American flag attire with a white beard and top hat came boiling out. He said, "I am Uncle Sam, the Genie. I can grant you one wish." I said, "No shit?"

The Big Ten

My brother asked me to participate in his meme of what 10 things would I most like to impart to my children. And well these are my answers.

1.Thou stalt have no other God before me.
that includes TV kids.

2.Thou shalt not make any graven image.
that also includes TV kids.

3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.
even when all your friends are doing it, and it may seem cool.

4.Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy.
Live ever day like you meant too, your regrets will be fewer.

5.Honour thy Father and thy Mother.
Even if you thinks they are wrong or even uncool. Not that I am ok folks.

6.Thou shalt not kill
This includes my patience, my finances, my furniture and of course the dogs.

7.Thou shalt not commit adultery.
We will go into that one more when your older. lol

8.Thou shalt not steal.
Even from the lolly jar when you think I won't notice.

9.Thou shall not bear false witness.
This includes little white ones like no mum you don't look fat in those pants.

10.Thou shalt not covet.
Be happy with what you have in life.


Those are the main ten and then I still have more like

1. Respect those who earn your respect.
And give the benefit of the doubt to others till they earn it.

2. Have Goals in your life and go forward to obtain them, dont
wait for them to fall into your lap.
If you aim for nothing you'll hit it every time.
"For I know the plans I have for you,says the Lord, plans to prosper you and
not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future". JER 29.11

3. Never be racist, being different does not make you wrong, it just makes you different.
We are all fearfully and wonderfully made.

4. Obtain as much knowledge as possible, read read and then read some more
and keep the bloody TV off.

5.Love your family, never be ashamed of them even if they do not fit your ideals.
You are unique JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

6. Treat people how you would like to be treated.'

7. Don't just do your best, give 110%, God loves a cheerful giver. So do I, so go and do the dishes.

8.Guard you heart.
"Above all else guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life". Pro 4. 23
Love is a gift to be used, don't be afraid just be careful who you chose to share it with.

9. See trouble coming
" A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge,but the simple keep going and suffer for it." Pro 23.3
And last of all

10. You are loved more than you will ever realise my babies.

They may not be perfect to others but they are mine.

"A baby is a kiss from heaven blown from the hand of God"

Now I Tag Sharon, Robyn,Teresa, Rosa, Hiccups,Kansas Rose, Leish, Kate, Renae and Chrixean. Thats 10 lol

Poo Poo

A little girl walks in to the lounge one Sunday morning while her Dad is reading the paper. "Where does poo come from?" she asks. The father feeling a little perturbed that his 5 year old daughter is already asking difficult questions thinks for a moment and says: "Well you know we just ate breakfast?" "Yes," answers the girl. "Well the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our bums when we go to the toilet, and that is poo." The little girl looks shocked, and stares, at him with watery eyes in stunned silence for a few seconds and asks: ..................... "And Tigger?"

Happy Halloween

Trick or Treat Smell my feet
give me something good to eat
if you don't I don't care
I'll make you smell my underwear...
Just kidding guys but this time of year fills me with happy happy memories of trick or treating with my American schoolfriends back in Scotland and then coming home with enough candy (or lollies as we say here in Australia) to last till the next Halloween. Candy cones, Hershey Kisses not to mention many many more.
Well Happy Halloween to all of my friends, now back to my hot balls from my aunty Betty in scotland. I have a permanant red tongue lol.

xxx
shona

Friendship..

Thank you all so much for the emails and the well wishes, it is nice to know that I have some lovely cyber friends out there. So many come and go but a few have remained and this is for you. Also thought it would give Tammy a wee giggle too. ; )